I despised the breakneck pace at which I rushed through my university experience. Yet, what choice did I really have? The world was thrust into the tumultuous grip of the infamous COVID-19 during my first year, leaving me confined and isolated. The cherished companions of that period were all immersed in the realm of gaming. Was it, then, inevitable that I sought solace in the sanctuary of academia?

Pursuing a course in software further cemented my attachment to electronic devices. It's worth noting that my upbringing, steeped in the traditions of a typical Asian household, placed paramount importance on academic achievements as the sole metric of personal worth. As a result, I found myself in a perpetual state of stress and anxiety, rendering me incapable of deriving any semblance of enjoyment from life's pursuits, or even understanding how to do so.

I completed my academic journey just three months ago, on the memorable 10th of July 2023. It was a day that held both the commencement of my first professional endeavor and the revelation of my final semester results. To my surprise, on that initial day at my new job, I found myself leaving work prematurely, seeking solace in the solitude of the parking lot where emotions overwhelmed me, and I broke down. This particular graduation was bittersweet; throughout my educational pursuit, I had maintained an unwavering focus on academic success, inadvertently neglecting my own well-being in the process.

I possessed the conviction that I could achieve my academic goals, but in retrospect, I question whether the exhaustive effort was truly worth it. Those years were marked by significant upheavals in my life, including my mother's battle with cancer and a myriad of interpersonal challenges with friends and acquaintances. My coping mechanism during that tumultuous period was a deliberate withdrawal from active participation—a strategy akin to what's colloquially referred to as "躺平" or "lying flat," where I simply let go of the relentless pursuit and chose a path of passive detachment.

I embraced minimalism, doing just what was necessary, and it felt liberating.

Indeed, it proved effective! During my final semester, my sole focus was on cultivating happiness and remaining unfazed by external pressures. It was, in essence, a much-needed respite from the relentless weight of my own expectations. I actively ventured out to seek enjoyable experiences, and serendipitously, I encountered an extraordinary group of individuals who have since become my closest friends. Through their support and camaraderie, I embarked on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth that has enriched my life in countless ways.

This graduation stung, in part, because I wished I had pursued these enriching experiences earlier, during the formative years of my university journey. At times, I find myself grappling with regrets for my passive approach and my neglect of my own mental well-being. I had reached a point of burnout and exhaustion that weighed heavily on me. Indeed, the past is behind me now, and I'm on a continuous journey of self-discovery. I would venture to say that life, at this moment, is rather promising and enjoyable.

But yeah, this is why graduation sucked for me. But i'm glad everything happened, nonetheless.